Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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