So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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