this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
