Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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