how can u be prego again
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
