So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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