dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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