Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You are a genius and a whore.
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