There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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