Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't turn off my feet"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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