Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
