I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
