the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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