you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
