Got a toothbrush?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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