these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
