Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Panties = found
Randomize