I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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