would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
