i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize