I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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