He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
