Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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