I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize