help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
