dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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