I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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