She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Couch. On fire.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
