these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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