I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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