8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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