I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
