i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
