your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
