I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
