Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize