You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
