I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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