it wasn't lemon gatorade
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
even my farts smell like vagina
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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