This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
