I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
