I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just gift wrapped bread.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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