Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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