I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
