I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
