just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
