I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I skipped work to stalk him.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
