I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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