I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE