He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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