no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
