And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
