i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
