To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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