i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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