i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
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Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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