So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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