After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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