Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
