I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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