She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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