She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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